| Q: What don't great brands have to do? | | | | compelling and exciting! |
| A: Sell themselves. | | | | *Facts are a writing no-no - they are stated, or said, |
| Coke doesn't have to advertise flavor. It associates | | | | not shown - and as any writer will tell you, the only |
| itself with happy images. Apple doesn't have to detail | | | | power is in showing, not telling. You must show or |
| its great functionalities. It can just contrast itself with | | | | demonstrate your attributes by what you write and |
| a clunky PC Bill-Gates stand-in. | | | | how you write. It must be indirect, or a result of |
| It's exactly the same thing with dating. | | | | who you are. You must not blabber about how great |
| In fact, it's even more important in dating. | | | | you are. |
| If you find yourself selling yourself... you're selling | | | | *Your facts are unsubstantiated. There's no back up. |
| yourself short. | | | | No testimonials. |
| And turning away women. | | | | Why should she believe you? Think about this... |
| Women secretly hate it when you sell yourself. When | | | | Can you imagine an infomercial where someone like |
| you list your attributes. They sense weakness in the | | | | Tony Robbins gets up for 30 minutes and just says |
| "song and dance." | | | | how freakin' fantastic he is?! How annoying and |
| As always, online profiles are a great way to | | | | non-convincing would that be? Now throw in Nelson |
| measure what guys are doing offline. So many guys' | | | | Mandela and movie producers and CEOs of Fortune |
| profiles read like this... | | | | 500 Companies interspersed in this commercial - and |
| "Hi, I am a really great guy. A diamond in the rough! | | | | now you have powerful selling. Because Tony, in the |
| One of a kind. I can do a hundred push-ups. I dress | | | | mind of the viewer, isn't selling himself. |
| really well! I drive a BMW. I am kind and sensitive and | | | | Instead, become "The Desirable Brand." |
| manly!" | | | | Or, as genius internet marketer, Alex Mandossian, |
| In person, women may act like they are flattered | | | | says, |
| when men dance for them like this. But what they | | | | "Educate Overtly; Sell Covertly." |
| like is the temporary power such flattery makes | | | | "What is your target market?" |
| them feel. | | | | Any marketing expert knows two things: |
| The kind of power that vanishes the second the | | | | 1. Only a fool creates a product and casts around for |
| interaction is over -- because now they are left | | | | a market. |
| empty of that experience. All they retain is the | | | | 2. The truly brilliant marketers find the market need |
| uncomfortable feeling that you are submissive and | | | | first - and then fulfill that need. |
| dorky. They liked the feeling for a moment, but | | | | How do you apply this to dating? The easiest way in |
| selling yourself leaves them feeling no connection at | | | | the world is with online dating, where women actually |
| all, no sense of the solid man behind the show. | | | | tell you exactly what they want in a man! |
| Go read twenty other guys' ads. They almost all | | | | All you have to do is read their profiles very, very |
| focus on listing their attributes. Very data-centric. | | | | closely. Read between the lines, identify what they |
| Very puffed-up feathers, wild animal display behavior. | | | | desire in a man. Are they asking for humor? Quiet |
| And very, very ineffective. Why? | | | | authority? Love of dogs or animals? |
| Because the "choose me! Buy me!" advertising bullets | | | | Find the women who you want to meet and write |
| that clutter most guys' profiles blur one into the next. | | | | your profile according to what they desire. Throw in |
| The effect is not only as if you are a car salesman | | | | how much you like dogs - don't SAY it - write about |
| or a vacuum salesman, but a salesman among a | | | | a time you were with your dog and were happy - by |
| thousand others! | | | | a lake, on a trail. |
| And anyway, is that how you want her to perceive | | | | Or if she says she loves a tv show, Scrubs, for |
| you? As a floor salesman? As a carnie? A sidewalk | | | | example, show some insight into the show when you |
| hawker? | | | | email her - recall an anecdote or great line that |
| Think for a moment: in our culture, are those | | | | means something to you and let her know why. |
| powerful, attractive models of manhood? | | | | You don't say "Hi! I like dogs, aren't I great!" Or, "Hey! |
| No. What else is wrong with the "I'm so great - buy | | | | I love Scrubs too, don't we have so much in |
| me!" pattern of online personals writing? Well, from a | | | | common!" |
| semiotic point of view, many things: | | | | The key to being a successful, non-self advertising |
| *Facts are boring to women, they want feeling. | | | | brand: |
| *Facts are bare, they are not contextualized into a | | | | Express yourself, don't advertise yourself. |
| story of who you are. Stories and fantasy visions are | | | | And let her come to you, the attractive brand. |