| Q: What don't great brands have to do?
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| | contextualized into a story of who you
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| A: Sell themselves.
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| | are. Stories and fantasy visions are
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| Coke doesn't have to advertise flavor. It
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| | compelling and exciting!
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| associates itself with happy images.
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| | *Facts are a writing no-no - they are
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| Apple doesn't have to detail its great
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| | stated, or said, not shown - and as any
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| functionalities. It can just contrast
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| | writer will tell you, the only power is
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| itself with a clunky PC Bill-Gates
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| | in showing, not telling. You must show or
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| stand-in.
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| | demonstrate your attributes by what you
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| It's exactly the same thing with dating.
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| | write and how you write. It must be
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| In fact, it's even more important in
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| | indirect, or a result of who you are. You
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| dating.
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| | must not blabber about how great you are.
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| If you find yourself selling yourself...
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| | *Your facts are unsubstantiated. There's
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| you're selling yourself short.
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| | no back up. No testimonials.
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| And turning away women.
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| | Why should she believe you? Think about
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| Women secretly hate it when you sell
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| | this...
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| yourself. When you list your attributes.
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| | Can you imagine an infomercial where
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| They sense weakness in the "song and
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| | someone like Tony Robbins gets up for 30
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| dance."
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| | minutes and just says how freakin'
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| As always, online profiles are a great
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| | fantastic he is?! How annoying and
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| way to measure what guys are doing
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| | non-convincing would that be? Now throw
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| offline. So many guys' profiles read like
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| | in Nelson Mandela and movie producers and
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| this...
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| | CEOs of Fortune 500 Companies
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| "Hi, I am a really great guy. A diamond
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| | interspersed in this commercial - and now
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| in the rough! One of a kind. I can do a
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| | you have powerful selling. Because Tony,
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| hundred push-ups. I dress really well! I
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| | in the mind of the viewer, isn't selling
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| drive a BMW. I am kind and sensitive and
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| | himself.
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| manly!"
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| | Instead, become "The Desirable Brand."
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| In person, women may act like they are
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| | Or, as genius internet marketer, Alex
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| flattered when men dance for them like
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| | Mandossian, says,
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| this. But what they like is the temporary
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| | "Educate Overtly; Sell Covertly."
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| power such flattery makes them feel.
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| | "What is your target market?"
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| The kind of power that vanishes the
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| | Any marketing expert knows two things:
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| second the interaction is over -- because
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| | 1. Only a fool creates a product and
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| now they are left empty of that
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| | casts around for a market.
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| experience. All they retain is the
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| | 2. The truly brilliant marketers find the
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| uncomfortable feeling that you are
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| | market need first - and then fulfill that
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| submissive and dorky. They liked the
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| | need.
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| feeling for a moment, but selling
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| | How do you apply this to dating? The
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| yourself leaves them feeling no
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| | easiest way in the world is with online
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| connection at all, no sense of the solid
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| | dating, where women actually tell you
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| man behind the show.
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| | exactly what they want in a man!
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| Go read twenty other guys' ads. They
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| | All you have to do is read their profiles
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| almost all focus on listing their
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| | very, very closely. Read between the
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| attributes. Very data-centric. Very
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| | lines, identify what they desire in a
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| puffed-up feathers, wild animal display
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| | man. Are they asking for humor? Quiet
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| behavior.
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| | authority? Love of dogs or animals?
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| And very, very ineffective. Why?
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| | Find the women who you want to meet and
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| Because the "choose me! Buy me!"
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| | write your profile according to what they
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| advertising bullets that clutter most
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| | desire. Throw in how much you like dogs -
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| guys' profiles blur one into the next.
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| | don't SAY it - write about a time you
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| The effect is not only as if you are a
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| | were with your dog and were happy - by a
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| car salesman or a vacuum salesman, but a
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| | lake, on a trail.
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| salesman among a thousand others!
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| | Or if she says she loves a tv show,
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| And anyway, is that how you want her to
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| | Scrubs, for example, show some insight
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| perceive you? As a floor salesman? As a
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| | into the show when you email her - recall
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| carnie? A sidewalk hawker?
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| | an anecdote or great line that means
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| Think for a moment: in our culture, are
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| | something to you and let her know why.
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| those powerful, attractive models of
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| | You don't say "Hi! I like dogs, aren't I
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| manhood?
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| | great!" Or, "Hey! I love Scrubs too,
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| No. What else is wrong with the "I'm so
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| | don't we have so much in common!"
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| great - buy me!" pattern of online
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| | The key to being a successful, non-self
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| personals writing? Well, from a semiotic
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| | advertising brand:
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| point of view, many things:
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| | Express yourself, don't advertise
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| *Facts are boring to women, they want
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| | yourself.
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| feeling.
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| | And let her come to you, the attractive
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| *Facts are bare, they are not
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| | brand.
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