| body"> | | | | America--or heck, even Miami--they truly had no clue. |
| Several years ago, while we were living in Miami, our | | | | OK. So she chooses her court. Seven girls. Seven |
| son, Nick, took part on the court of a | | | | guys. (Can you imagine what that was like?) We |
| Quinceañera party (a "Sweet Fifteen" for Latin | | | | order the gown, and it is, indeed, a wedding gown. |
| girls) of a gal who was a friend, to be sure, although | | | | It's very Cinderella-y. Billowy. Lots of tulle. We order |
| not necessarily a "best friend." Never having | | | | the dresses for her court (with the tearful note that |
| encountered a "Quince" before, we had not the | | | | her dearest friend from Miami who was to hold |
| foggiest idea of what was involved. | | | | center court cannot make it up here for the event |
| Turned out, this was "the event." Private dance | | | | as she's in the middle of exams. A sad late note for |
| lessons were on tap for everyone | | | | both girls.) We order the shoes (yes, they have a |
| involved--everyone being the Quince princess, the | | | | glass-like heel). We order the invitations. (An ordeal in |
| seven fifteen-year-old girls on her court (think | | | | and of itself. Have you noticed the cost of stationary |
| homecoming) and the accompanying seven | | | | lately?!?) Order the jewelry for each girl on the court. |
| fifteen-year-old boys. And not once, but twice, a | | | | Ditto on the venue, the food, the DJ, and yes, if you |
| private dance instructor gave them all private dance | | | | can believe it, the dance instructors. |
| lessons so they would all dance perfectly when the | | | | And then we start looking at tiaras. Now, I'm not |
| appropriate time came (as in private dance instructor | | | | Latin. (Nope. Pure-blooded Hungarian.) But even I |
| came to their house and gave private dance lessons | | | | know that Quince girls wear tiaras. And they are like, |
| for a couple hours each time...you do the math.) Girls | | | | very expensive. And I'm saying: "Cristina, can't we |
| wore floor-length gowns, coordinated to the white | | | | just go to the mall and get you a cheap one at |
| Cinderella-esque wedding style gown of the Quince | | | | Claire's?" You'd think I had committed heresy. |
| girl; boys wore rented tuxedos. Nearly three hundred | | | | So we look at every friggin' tiara on the display shelf |
| guests were invited to a sit-down dinner and | | | | at David's bridal shop. They make these things from |
| professional photographers, cake makers, dance | | | | Swarovski crystal, you know! And I just had to draw |
| instructors, set designers, make-up artists and hair | | | | the line. I mean, this thing was getting out of hand. |
| stylists all played their own distinct roles. | | | | So I start pacing back and forth and back and forth |
| Now, my husband and I attended, invited as we | | | | on the floor of the bridal shop, turning over and over |
| were by virtue of the fact that our son was on the | | | | in my mind what I'm teaching my daughter about |
| court. But our other children were not; they were | | | | money and budgets and celebrations and indulgence |
| simply told of the event after it occurred. | | | | and EVERYTHING is now all of a sudden riding on a |
| Fast forward five years. Our daughter vividly | | | | stupid tiara. |
| remembers every single detail of that Quince...lock, | | | | She volunteers to pay for the difference between |
| stock and barrel...and, now fifteen-years old, wants a | | | | the one she really wants which is way out of my |
| complete and total re-enactment of the whole | | | | budget and the proposed one from Claire's (which |
| Cinderella bit. | | | | had an imaginary value anyway) and I coalesce and |
| Given that our pockets are not that deep, that we | | | | buy her the tiara. |
| have no intention of doing the whole | | | | And when I talk to one of the court-gal's mom the |
| pumpkin-turns-into-a stagecoach thing on a revolving | | | | next day, we kibitz about these girls and |
| platform (no, I am not making this up), we have told | | | | teenage-hood and money and rites of passage. |
| her that, yes, she may have a Quince and yes, it can | | | | Having hosted two bat mitzvahs herself, she had |
| even have a Cinderella theme (she is our only | | | | perspective. And then she said what would hit me |
| princess, after all) but that the line needs to be | | | | like a ton of bricks: "You're not just having a Quince. |
| drawn in the proverbial sand by mom and dad with | | | | You're preserving a whole cultural tradition." |
| clearly-delineated markings. | | | | And I stopped and thought about how these |
| Well, "clearly-delineated," "pockets-not-that-deep," and | | | | traditions come and stay. About how generations of |
| "Cinderelle-esque" are all relative concepts. | | | | children have celebrated religious heritages with bar |
| To live in Miami, which, let's face it, has a clear | | | | bat mitzvahs and christenings and baptism parties; |
| majority of Latinos from all Spanish and | | | | about how American girls have Sweet Sixteen's and |
| Portuguese-speaking countries of the world, one | | | | how Latin girls have Quince's. About weddings. And |
| embraces Quince parties because they occur each | | | | how these events occur just once in a lifetime. Once |
| and every weekend in each and every year. To | | | | or twice in a family. |
| attend a Quince there at some point in your life is | | | | And I decided that making a big deal about a life |
| like, well, living in South America and celebrating | | | | event is a grand thing. That it thrills me to no end to |
| "sweet fifteen" as a fact of life. Like breathing. To | | | | have a daughter, and a precious, beautiful one at |
| live in Fairfield County, Connecticut and host a Quince | | | | that. That few of us take enough time out to |
| party is like living in the North Pole and hosting a luau. | | | | celebrate life. To enjoy laughter and fellowship and |
| There ain't none. | | | | good food and good cake. |
| So when our daughter announced that she was | | | | We're getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving next |
| having a Quince, to all non-Spanish- taking high school | | | | week here in America. Embrace it. And those you |
| freshman, they had no idea what in the world she | | | | love. With good cheer. |
| was talking about. But to those who took Spanish in | | | | For celebrations--Quinceañera's--are grand |
| middle school, they had some inkling of the impending | | | | things. |
| brouhaha. But as these girls had never lived in South | | | | |