| How many times do you sit on the fence when you | | | | To love yourself is to trust yourself. How can you |
| need to make a decision? You feel ambivalent and | | | | trust other people if you can't trust yourself? The |
| afraid to make a choice for fear of making the | | | | bottom line is that you must feel comfortable with |
| wrong choice. When you get that funny feeling in | | | | yourself because you know yourself better than |
| your stomach that tells you something is not right, do | | | | anyone does. Let me give you an example. For a long |
| you trust your intuition or do you ignore that little | | | | period of time, my husband did not like his hairstyle. |
| voice inside of you? At our core, we know what is | | | | Every morning, he would ask me how his hair looked |
| best for us. Learning to trust that can sometimes be | | | | and I would tell him it looked fine. Even people at |
| challenging. | | | | work told him his hair looked good. One day he said |
| Sometimes we learn as children that we can't trust | | | | to me, "I don't know if I can believe people when |
| ourselves. The ability to trust our caregivers and vice | | | | they say my hair looks good." Why would he think |
| versa is learned at a very early age and sometimes | | | | people would lie to him? He was not able to trust me |
| this developmental stage is thwarted. Maybe your | | | | or people at work because he did not trust himself. |
| trust in yourself was shattered when you thought | | | | Until he became comfortable with his own hair, he |
| you were making a good decision, but the decision | | | | would not believe that others were making genuine |
| turned out to be disastrous and painful. The inability | | | | comments about his hair. |
| to trust oneself can also come from not knowing | | | | When people don't trust themselves, they normally |
| who we truly are. And even when we do know | | | | seek guidance from everyone else. It's okay to listen |
| ourselves, we still sometimes make the wrong | | | | to other people's opinions, as long as you don't allow |
| choices because we let fear, external pressure or | | | | them to make the final decision for you. What |
| low self-esteem get in the way. | | | | matters is what's most important to you or what |
| We all make decisions that don't turn out as planned. | | | | works best for you. If you're feeling ambivalent, take |
| When I was a child, I always envied girls that could | | | | the time to listen to your intuition. That little voice |
| tap dance. So as an adult, I thought for sure I would | | | | inside of you will guide you if you're quiet enough to |
| love taking a tap dance class. Nothing could be | | | | hear it. |
| further from the truth. I was actually quite bored, not | | | | An essential part of my coaching training was learning |
| to mention extremely challenged. I decided I wasn't | | | | to listen to my intuition. We were instructed as |
| as thrilled about tap dancing as I had originally | | | | coaches to listen deeply and then blurt out whatever |
| thought. | | | | that little voice was telling us. Then we would ask the |
| I'm sure you've made a wrong decision before, even | | | | client to confirm the truth of our intuition. Sometimes |
| though you saw all the warning signs. We all have, | | | | we were wrong, but more often than not, we were |
| including myself. The red flags were present when I | | | | correct. So how do you know if you can trust your |
| married my ex-husband. I saw them and I ignored | | | | intuition? You won't until you start testing it out. The |
| them because I convinced myself it was the best | | | | more you find that little voice to be accurate, the |
| option for our little boy, who was only one at the | | | | more you will begin to trust yourself. |
| time. I wasn't really surprised when, within one year, | | | | Put that little voice to some tests. When you feel |
| we were separated. | | | | unsure about a decision, listen to what your intuition |
| I'm also sure there have been times you made the | | | | is saying. Do not let your fears or other defense |
| best decision you could possibly make. Maybe you | | | | mechanisms get in the way. Go with your gut and |
| got out a piece of paper and wrote down all the | | | | see how things turn out. Every time your intuition is |
| pros and cons for each choice. As educated and | | | | accurate, record the decision in a journal so you can |
| informed as the decision was it still didn't turn out as | | | | begin to see that you can indeed trust yourself. Do |
| planned. Does that mean you can't trust yourself in | | | | not get discouraged if sometimes you are wrong. |
| the future to make the right choices? The answer is | | | | Learn from your mistake and move forward. Isn't it |
| no. Life changes; people change and we don't have | | | | better to trust yourself and be wrong than not trust |
| control over that. | | | | yourself at all? |