| Breaking up is easy for some people, hard for others. | | | | You're not a scarcity. Most of all, you don't give them |
| There's a common trend amongst the people in each | | | | a chance to miss you. I've always noticed feelings |
| of these two groups. I'm going to discuss why some | | | | grow the strongest in absence. Do you want your ex |
| people can shrug off a relationship in 5 minutes and | | | | more now than you did before you broke up? People |
| why others won't be over a break-up for months. | | | | want what they can't have. So if you're in the |
| Let's cover the ones who suffer first. Bear with me | | | | process of getting over a break up, or you want to |
| here; let's imagine their life is a big pie chart. 30% of | | | | win them back, your best shot is to back off and let |
| their life is filled by work. 5% is filled by leisure. 5% is | | | | them miss you. |
| spent with friends. 60% is spent with their lover. | | | | Every time you phone them, every time you write |
| What's wrong with that, you say? There's nothing | | | | to them wanting them back they'll know they can still |
| wrong with it; they obviously love their partner and | | | | have you whenever they want. There's no urgency |
| want to spend every second they can with them. | | | | to grab you back because they know you're not |
| But what happens if they break up with their lover? | | | | going anywhere. If you find yourself in the position of |
| Suddenly they've got over half of their life (60%) | | | | the first example, feeling empty with your ex now |
| taken away from them. It's a void. They're going to | | | | gone, the most important thing to do is start filling up |
| feel empty. Effectively, half of their life has been | | | | the space again. |
| ripped out from them as soon as the break-up has | | | | Write down three things you've always wanted to |
| taken place. | | | | do, or always wanted to learn. How to dance? Street |
| They've not only lost their lover, but they've lost a | | | | magic? How to play an instrument? How to draw? |
| part of themselves, too. | | | | There are tons of things you can learn out there, |
| Now let's take a look at someone who can deal with | | | | and tons of clubs or courses you can take. |
| break-ups. We'll use the pie chart example again, but | | | | The vital thing behind doing this is that you're going |
| this time it will be a little different. 30% is work, 10% | | | | to be replacing the loss you're suffering from |
| is leisure, 25% is friends, 15% is hobbies, 5% is family | | | | breaking up. You'll be meeting new people, and who |
| and 15% is their relationship. | | | | knows; maybe you'll meet the love of your life. Some |
| What happens when they break-up with someone? | | | | people may tell you that time will help you get over |
| Sure, they're going to be hurt. But they won't be | | | | the break up, but time and action helps a heck of a |
| devastated like the first example, because they've | | | | lot more. |
| still got 85% of their life filled with other things. Life | | | | When your ex sees that you're moving on with your |
| will move on as usual for them and not only will they | | | | life, they'll be interested in you again. They'll want to |
| get over their ex, they'll probably find another | | | | know why you don't need them anymore. They'll |
| partner very quickly or even win their ex back. | | | | want to know why your life is exciting enough that |
| This is because independence is attractive. Knowing | | | | you're not begging them to come back. |
| that you have a life outside of your partner is very | | | | At the same time, you'll be getting over them; so |
| attractive, and makes them want to be a part of it; | | | | taking them back will be your choice. But don't do |
| they don't want to miss out! If you spend every | | | | this for the sole purpose of winning them back. |
| breathing second with your partner you don't | | | | That's just a bonus side effect. Do this to fill up your |
| become special anymore; you become normal. | | | | life again and replace what you've lost. You'll make |
| There's no urgency to be with you or want you | | | | yourself feel better and you'll be doing something |
| because they can have you any time they like. | | | | new. |