How the Language of Love Has Changed in 25 Years: Swinging Couples Aren't What They Used to Be

After 25 years of marriage many things change,were considered the best, but we haven’t
things that let you know you’re getting older.been for years.”
They’re especially aging when they catch you“Well, maybe you’ll learn something new
by surprise. Most shocking is when a word or symboltonight,” Troy said with an unexplainably
you’ve used all your life suddenly meansrevolting tone.
something else. Swinging couples is a good exampleJust then, a young woman with long dark hair called
of this.for our attention.
Swinging couples used mean a lively night out dancing.“Hello, everyone, my name is Kaily,”
My wife and I were one of the best swingingShe announced. “Welcome to our swinging
couples around. Now swinging couples can meancouples retreat.”
something dangerously different. When you’reMany of the guests cheered enthusiastically.
planning your 25th anniversary, ask one of your kids“Now that you’ve all had a chance to
to look over your shoulder to make suremingle with all the other guests,” she
you’re not making a huge mistake.continued, “let’s begin the key party.
It was a month until our 25th wedding anniversary. IGentlemen, please bring up your room keys.”
was trying to find something that would make the“What is a key party?” Mary whispered
occasion memorable. Then I found an advertisementto me. But I didn’t know.
for a swinging couples retreat. My wife, Mary, and I“Excuse me.” I said, addressing the
loved to swing dance when we first got married, butcouple we had been talking with. “What is a
we hadn’t been dancing for quite a few yearskey party and what do they want with my room
now. Still, I imagined it would willingly come back to uskey?”
when we got out on the floor. And the ad said new“You’ve never been to a key party
swinging couples were welcome. If needed, we couldbefore?” Dianne asked, surprised. “Well
take a lesson or two to remind us. I thought athe first time is always the most exciting. A key
swinging couples retreat would make a perfect wayparty is where swinging couples split up and the
to commemorate our 25 years together.woman picks a random room key. Then she spends
After an elegant dinner, Mary and I drove to thethe night with the man who left that key.”
hotel where the swinging couples retreat was beingMary gasped loud enough that every swinging couple
held. All Mary knew before we arrived was that wein our corner of the room turned and looked.
needed to be well dressed.“Thank you,” I said as I gripped my
She responded as I had hoped she would when wewife’s hand. “Mary, let’s
arrived at the hotel and I revealed the surprise.go.”
“Swing dancing! What a romantic idea,I didn’t look to see the reaction of the other
Leonard,” she beamed. “But what if weguests.
can’t remember the steps?”We drove for the next hour trying to wrap our
I assured her we would remember. We checked in atminds around what had just happened. Eventually, our
the front desk and she took my arm as we walkeddisgust turned to humor and relief that we were far
to the ballroom.away from our swinging couples retreat. Still, I
I was surprised to see how young many of thecouldn’t let our 25 th anniversary end like that.
swinging couples were. I hadn’t realized swingI pulled over at a small beach where we could be
dancing had become some popular with youngeralone. I helped Mary out of the car and we began to
crowds.swing dance in the sand. We danced until the sun
We took some hor d’oerves and mingled aswent down.
we waited for the dancing to begin.In 25 years the world has changed around Mary and
Many of the other swinging couples were veryme. We are part of another time and we are old. But
friendly. There must be an open bar, I remembersince our swinging couples experience, we
thinking, because some were quite friendly.don’t feel a need to fight that anymore.
We began a conversation with another coupleWe’re happy with the world we fell in love in
nearby. Troy and Dianne were their names.and happy to part with the one that has tried to
“So how long have you been swinging?”redefine our language of love. We are still a swinging
Troy asked.couple. In fact, we swing every week now and we
“We used to go swinging almost every weekare more in love than ever.
in college,” Mary explained. “In fact we