| As much as we value honesty in all relationships, | | | | liked your hair better before you got it cut, then you |
| there are times when too much honesty can cause | | | | probably didn't ask yourself what the effect of |
| its own set of problems. Now I'm not advocating | | | | saying this would be. If the opinion that you are |
| deliberately withholding information in your | | | | about to express is not one that will be received |
| relationship, but depending on the timing and | | | | with happiness by your partner, then you should |
| circumstance there are times when "complete" | | | | keep it to yourself until you find a way of expressing |
| honesty is overrated. Of course one person's version | | | | it that does not sound like criticism. Thinking before |
| of how much honesty they need in their relationship | | | | you spew out a negative opinion will save you |
| does not always match up with their partner's | | | | numerous arguments, because most times when we |
| honesty requirements, but there are still certain | | | | blurt out an opinion that is really a criticism we are |
| guidelines that can help you decide what information | | | | met with a criticism in return, and an argument is not |
| needs to be revealed and when it needs to be | | | | far behind. |
| revealed. | | | | Don't Ask and Your Partner Won't Have to Tell- |
| Too Much, Too Soon- Most people have things about | | | | There are certain "loaded questions" that you should |
| themselves that are very personal that are difficult | | | | never ask in your relationship unless you are a glutton |
| to share with others. These are the kind of topics | | | | for punishment. Questions that fall into this category |
| that need to be shared slowly as your relationship | | | | are ones like: "Am I prettier than your ex-girlfriend?" |
| progresses from casual to serious. During the "getting | | | | "Do you love me more than you loved him?" and the |
| to know you stage" these things should never be | | | | infamous "Does this make me look fat?" All these |
| shared because they are likely to overwhelm the | | | | questions have only one "right answer" and even |
| person that is trying to get to know the basics about | | | | then, your partner will need to carefully craft an |
| you and you will feel embarrassed about revealing | | | | answer to avoid saying the wrong thing. Unless you |
| these things if this revelation does drive the other | | | | are trying to deliberately assess your partner's ability |
| person away. For example, if you were abused in | | | | to tap dance around delicate issues, no good can |
| your past, this is important for your partner to know | | | | come from asking these questions. |
| as your relationship becomes serious. Even though it's | | | | So yes, honesty is vital to any relationship, but so is |
| an important part of your life, it is not something that | | | | knowing when to keep quiet. Knowing the proper |
| a person that you are recently dating needs to know. | | | | timing to reveal sensitive information about yourself |
| You need to get past learning whether you have | | | | and making sure that your "honesty" is not just |
| similar personalities and likes and dislikes before you | | | | criticism are two important considerations before you |
| delve into the big issues. | | | | proceed with what you are about to share. And of |
| Think before you spew your opinion- Everyone has | | | | course, sometimes the best way to avoid the topics |
| an opinion, but sometimes expressing them is | | | | that are irrelevant and potentially hurtful to your |
| potentially hurtful. For example, if you point out that | | | | relationship is to be proactive by not asking any of |
| he's wearing his ratty old shirt again or that he loaded | | | | the questions that you don't really want answered. |
| the dishwasher incorrectly, or he points out that he | | | | |