| I always loved turning. Why? Because I was good at | | | | found inside was one of fragmentation. Ballet, |
| it. So when the lanky young Russian teacher, only | | | | modern, and jazz battled for disciples, each claiming |
| three years my senior, glared at me critically after a | | | | its own validity and superiority. I graduated and |
| pirouette combination, I froze. | | | | moved to New York City to find that my college |
| "Jeeeeeeem!," she screeched. "Vat is theese? In | | | | experience prepared me perfectly for the real dance |
| ballet turn like theese, in jazz turn like theese, what | | | | world. The Us versus Them mentality of the dance |
| you do is...I don't know." | | | | world infiltrates every corner. In addition to the |
| As she comically demonstrated my errant pirouette, I | | | | fragmentation between the genres, there are a |
| understood that my turn out was somewhere | | | | multitude of other conflicts including: concert dance |
| between the ideal ballet retiré and the parallel | | | | vs. entertainment dance, East coast vs. West Coast, |
| retiré for jazz dance. I floundered in some | | | | Broadway jazz vs. Los Angeles jazz, Classical ballet |
| unknown middle ground. The various techniques I | | | | vs. Contemporary ballet, uptown dance vs. |
| trained in--ballet, modern, jazz--seemed to combat | | | | downtown dance (in NYC), commercial schools vs. |
| each other. They all fought for supremacy. Each one | | | | non-profit schools, and recreational training vs. |
| feeling encroached upon by the other. Deep down I | | | | pre-professional training. I found a dance world |
| wanted there to be a way for them all to work | | | | focusing on the differences between its diverse |
| together. But day in and out my body received | | | | facets instead of celebrating its commonality. |
| messages saying certain aspects of one technique | | | | It was then that I began searching for what I called |
| were incongruous with certain aspects of another. | | | | "Integrity" in dance. This word resonated with me |
| These messages were clearest when coming from | | | | and became a banner I carried with me. I wanted to |
| my teachers. Jerry, slight, frail, but with fiery eyes, | | | | find the consistent thread that not only connected |
| strolled around with a kingly-air in the transformed | | | | the various aspects of my dance career, which now |
| church that served as the Ballet Center at the | | | | involved performing, choreographing, and teaching, |
| University of Akron. The cool, shadowy air of the | | | | but also my personal beliefs and values with my |
| building demanded reverence for the study of the art | | | | outer profession. In the integration of eastern |
| of dance. Our young paths were illuminated by the | | | | philosophies, developmental psychology, somatic |
| glints of sunlight slicing through the Tiffany window. | | | | practices, integral philosophy, and mindfulness practice |
| This was a kingdom out of past, lost to time, and | | | | I found my highly coveted "cohesion". Eastern |
| immaculately groomed, white-haired Jerry was its | | | | philosophies and somatic practices (mind-body |
| diminutive ruler. Once I saw an otherwise | | | | techniques) have worked side by side for decades |
| sweet-looking Shitsu violently attack an unassuming | | | | already. It was with the discovery of mindfulness |
| visitor. That is how Jerry approached teaching--and | | | | practice that my own vision of a dance world with |
| the other professors. And like the Shitsu, which | | | | integrity came into focus. |
| betrays its own ferocity as it nips at your ankles, I | | | | Now, philosophy can be a bunch of bluster and |
| found him amusing -- and often insightful. | | | | brouhaha. In the dance community, where physical |
| "I don't know what that mad Russian woman is | | | | action and intuitive wisdom take precedent over |
| teaching you, but your technique is all wrong," he | | | | rationality and discursive thought, we want practical |
| commonly said. My professors spent as much time | | | | and applicable ideas. My hope is to integrate all these |
| arguing the faults of their peer's approaches as they | | | | ideas into a new vision of dance with practical |
| did explaining to us theirs'. My Graham teacher, Tom, | | | | approaches for dancers: Mindful Dance. In my essays |
| was austere, impressively built, and expressively | | | | on Mindful Dance, you will find my personal theory |
| intense. It seemed that the Graham repertoire had | | | | derived from years of working in the trenches as a |
| not just been learned in his mind, but absorbed into | | | | performer, teacher, choreographer, administrator, and |
| his every pore. In contrast, Linda, who also taught | | | | writer. The specific applications are personal and |
| modern dance, had short, stark hair and a | | | | developed from my own experience and creative |
| make-up-free complexion. Her contemporary | | | | intuition. This theory is open ended. If it appeals to |
| approach embraced diversity of movement styles | | | | you, then I encourage you to play with it. Do not |
| yet inwardly rebelled against the ballet and Graham | | | | swallow it whole as a rigid structure. Bend it, twist it, |
| vocabularies. | | | | turn it upside down as you develop your own Mindful |
| Every professor and student at the Ballet Center | | | | Dance vision and practice. And, if--in the middle of |
| gravitated to this deconsecrated church for the same | | | | your playing--you get a free moment, let me know |
| unified reason: a love of dance. But the culture we | | | | what you discovered. |