| There are moments when I watch my student's | | | | did I do with students like the ones I mentioned? It |
| dance that I get goose bumps and chills up my spine. | | | | was simple; I asked them to leave the studio. The |
| And I'm in amazement of their creative "natural state | | | | studio was no longer respected by these students. |
| of being". | | | | Mutual respect between teachers and students is a |
| As a teacher the ability to 'teach' another dancer is a | | | | must. |
| position that I don't take lightly. It is an honor. | | | | I have had a few students who were disappointed in |
| In the beginning of my classes most of my students | | | | me because they felt I didn't know as much as they |
| can't wait to get started learning our ancient art | | | | thought I should. This is what I call the "pedestal |
| form. And for those students who come to me with | | | | syndrome". They quickly put me up on a pedestal |
| experience they can't wait to learn something | | | | only to knock me off at the first hint of |
| different. When class starts I am always in | | | | disappointment. My first experience with the |
| amazement at the array of talent and enthusiasm in | | | | "pedestal syndrome" was when I had an audition at |
| each student. | | | | my studio for my students to have a chance to |
| This is the best time and it is a reminder as to why | | | | perform with a local band at one of the casinos here |
| every year I teach and nurture the aspiring belly | | | | in our area. I had informed the girls ahead of time |
| dancer to be. | | | | that I would have snacks and drinks including some |
| The relationship that develops between a teacher | | | | alcohol so those dancers apprehensive could have a |
| and student in any form of learning is a crucial one. | | | | little something to calm their nerves. The head |
| Unfortunately I can't say that all my relationships with | | | | musician came and all went well I thought. He made |
| my students were the best. Why this happens has | | | | his choice and thanked me profusely for having the |
| been perplexing to me for years. But after years of | | | | audition and he thanked the girls for dancing for him. |
| teaching I often think back remembering some of | | | | But it all landed on deaf ears. The girls who were not |
| the interesting situations that have come up with | | | | picked got very upset and blamed me. They said he |
| some of my students. Some of these experiences I | | | | was insulting and that they felt like pieces of meat. |
| would like to share with you. Maybe in sharing I will | | | | The two girls that he picked were my newest |
| be able to help other teachers out there to see what | | | | students and of course they got picked because |
| "not" to do with your students. | | | | they flirted with him according to "these" dancers. All |
| The studio that I had a few years ago was a | | | | in all I was cornered in my own studio and berated |
| sanctuary for dancers to come in and feel creative | | | | because I should have known better and how could I |
| and dance freely. This I thought was what | | | | let any of that happen. I was told that I was not the |
| everybody wanted who walked through my front | | | | teacher they thought I was. Students took sides and |
| door.... well, not quite. | | | | I lost 4 because of the audition. |
| Teaching is one thing but counseling is another. | | | | My first mistake was thinking that these students |
| Students would come in and bring in problems, issues, | | | | could handle the disappointment of not being picked. |
| and occasionally bad habits. Now, as a teacher I | | | | So they were right, I should have known that. The |
| would give them the best class that I could but | | | | ego is a very fragile and shallow part of the human |
| eventually I wasn't leaving the studio until late at | | | | emotions. It doesn't take much for it to break and |
| night because of my "counseling sessions". This was | | | | for any us to fall apart. I realized at that moment |
| nobody's fault but my own. Well what do you | | | | that the dancers who were so quick to put me up |
| suppose happened? I became involved advising some | | | | on a pedestal were the ones with the most fragile |
| of my students on issues outside of dance. And | | | | egos. A fragile ego always needs a scapegoat |
| eventually these late night talks came back to bite | | | | because nobody wants to admit that they weren't |
| me in my (you know where). | | | | good enough. And if they weren't good enough to be |
| You must first and foremost be their dance | | | | picked than it had to be my fault. I was their teacher |
| teacher...period. As I learned the hard way that is all I | | | | and I should have done better. This was a great |
| was really required to do. But it is hard when a | | | | lesson for me because I realized that what I had |
| student confides in you to turn your back on her or | | | | given my students couldn't be appreciated. They had |
| him and insist that they keep their issues and | | | | no guidelines or experience to know that what I did |
| problems outside the studio. I don't know a dance | | | | was in the safety of the studio. I knew this because |
| teacher who is a friend of mine who can do that. We | | | | of my auditions I went through over the years. I |
| all want our students to be happy because they in a | | | | experienced some really horrible auditions. You can't |
| way become an extension of us. But this is unrealistic | | | | give to your students what they can't appreciate. |
| because our students are individuals when they walk | | | | They won't respect you for it and you will end up |
| in the front door and they will continue on in life | | | | losing them as students. |
| whether they stay with us or not. I found I did not | | | | It's also important to know when to let your |
| live in a glass house so I needed to stop being "Leyla | | | | students go. There were a few times that my |
| the advisor". | | | | students didn't want to go to other teachers. I insist |
| At one point I have to tell you I really thought I had | | | | that my students take from as many teachers as |
| an invisible sign that read: | | | | possible because I feel they will progress faster. But |
| "If you are a little odd come to my studio" | | | | there are those students that come to us who |
| One couple came into my studio and brought their | | | | complain about other studios and teachers. So as a |
| marital problems with them every time they had | | | | teacher what do we do? If someone says that you |
| class with me. | | | | are so nice and so and so is so mean and she would |
| You can imagine the sarcastic remarks, snide | | | | much rather take from you, how do you handle it? |
| grimaces, and shocking language that was tossed | | | | It's quite the question because what we say in our |
| back and forth across the dance floor. | | | | dance community will usually get back to the person |
| Another student decided she wanted to become a | | | | we talked about. I had a student that came in and |
| vampire. (That's a whole other story) | | | | told me she had been to many studios and was |
| Than there was the student that had two nervous | | | | treated terribly. So I told her stay with me and we'll |
| break downs in class to the point I literally had to | | | | see how things go. Well low and behold she was |
| hold her up and get her to breathing normally as she | | | | telling the other studios how mean I was during the |
| was crying uncontrollably. She would hold up class for | | | | time she was taking classes from me. So she was |
| up to 20 minutes. | | | | taking from all of us and telling each teacher how |
| There was a student who was the tantrum queen if | | | | mean the other teachers were. Eventually a student |
| she didn't understand a combination or if she didn't | | | | like this leaves because she can't ever be satisfied. |
| get that "personal" attention. She would go and sulk | | | | She creates chaos because if she fails she can blame |
| in the corner until | | | | all her teachers. You can't take it personal when a |
| I told her to get back into class. That was her queue | | | | student leaves you either in good conditions or bad. |
| to tell me "no". And she would sit and glare at me | | | | Either way we must wish them off on their journey |
| throughout the rest of class eventually leaving with a | | | | with light and love. This is what our dance is all about. |
| major chip on her shoulder. | | | | So what does any of this mean? It means that as |
| Last but not least was the alcoholic dancer who was | | | | long as any of us are willing to teach others this |
| so "bubbly" in class that she was continually coming | | | | amazing dance form, we will be in the forefront of |
| on to some of the other students and their spouses. | | | | aspiring belly dancers hopes, dreams,disappointments |
| Though, she could never remember any of her | | | | and disillusionments. And as long as we continue to |
| inappropriate conduct and was in disbelief when | | | | learn and grow ourselves we can than become the |
| confronted with her actions. | | | | teachers our students will hold in their hearts as they |
| Now, I can't say everybody has had these kinds of | | | | become the next generation of teachers. And as |
| situations but what I realized is that people can't help | | | | teachers, what better success can we have than to |
| but bring their emotional baggage that they are | | | | know that this dance will thrive and grow long after |
| experiencing in life into class. But there are certain | | | | we are gone. |
| lines that cannot be crossed within a studio. So what | | | | |