| Truckin' is my life these days. | | | | gave me a swift kick in the shin. I couldn't |
| Unfortunately, I couldn't pass my commercial | | | | not slap her! Without discipline, children |
| driver's license exams, so I'm stuck inside | | | | will run wild and destroy our society. Too |
| my dually Sierra instead of a proper | | | | bad her father and the Wal-Mart lawyers |
| Kenworth. I don't much mind, though. I'm just | | | | couldn't understand that because I was out on |
| happy to be away from my family for long | | | | my ear in minutes. |
| stretches of time. Dianna used to be a right | | | | |
| fine woman, and we had a lot of fun going out | | | | Dianna's nagging grew into out and out |
| line dancing, playing putt-putt golf, or just | | | | ridicule after that last lost job, and I knew |
| throwing back a 6-pack and making out in my | | | | that I couldn't stick around for long. That's |
| pickup. Everything changed when she had the | | | | when a buddy of mine planted a bug in my ear |
| boys: twin monsters with a taste for | | | | about becoming a trucker. To be honest, it's |
| chocolate syrup and breaking my stuff. During | | | | always been a dream of mine ever since I |
| those first 5 years, Dianna and I steadily | | | | first saw Smokey and the Bandit. I took some |
| drifted apart. The boys were very demanding | | | | classes, tried getting my license, but my |
| of her time and attention, and I didn't | | | | cornering chops just weren't up to the |
| really want to share her with a couple of | | | | State's standards. Rather than just give up, |
| snot-nosed buttinskies. A chill settled over | | | | I bought myself a dually Sierra with a long |
| our marriage, and I took to sleeping on the | | | | bed and plush captain's chairs. Now, I work |
| couch because the boys hogged the bed. | | | | as an independent contractor hauling spent |
| | | | needles from the town's methadone clinic up |
| That was about the time when I decided to | | | | to a waste site in the Beer City. It's a |
| quit my gig with Amway and look for gainful | | | | pretty good gig, but the rising cost of |
| employment that would get me out of the | | | | diesel is starting to cut into my bottom |
| house. For a while, I tried my hand as a | | | | line. I did some sleuthing online and found a |
| short order cook at the Red Lobster. But they | | | | ton of accessories promising fuel savings for |
| caught me making off with about 4 lbs of | | | | big rigs. I figured it was worth a shot, so I |
| frozen shrimp one night so cut me loose. | | | | ordered up a truck bed cover and a |
| After that, I pulled a stint as a greeter | | | | performance air filter. Both have done |
| over at the Wal-Mart 2 towns over. That | | | | wonders for my fuel consumption, which allows |
| didn't go so well either. I tried to offer a | | | | me to stay away from home even more. |
| little girl a smiley face sticker, but she | | | | |