| Let's plan the ideal life.Plan A: Perfect parents, a | | | | could see the connection to discipline and study in |
| childhood without drama and trauma, graduate from | | | | college, how that would give him more and better |
| the college of your choice with great grades, select a | | | | career options after college. He agreed. He asked him |
| life mission by age twenty-one, land the perfect job | | | | if he could see how a better career would give him |
| in the career of your choice, married to your | | | | more financial, travel and relationship choices. He again |
| soulmate by age twenty-six, two beautiful, healthy, | | | | agreed. Then he asked the final and most important |
| well behaved and intelligent children by thirty-five, | | | | question. Do you see how the attitudes and skills |
| financially independent by age forty-five, and retired | | | | that you develop now will impact the rest of your |
| to a life of leisure and travel by age fifty-five.Sound | | | | life? He agreed.I don't know the outcome of the |
| good? Yes. Sound possible? Yes. Sound plausible? I | | | | situation with this mans son, I can only guess, but I |
| doubt it.No let's take a look at plan B the alternative: | | | | see so often in life people say, I will get serious |
| Raised in a dysfunctional family, barely make it out of | | | | when I am finally in the relationship I want, job or |
| high school, drop out of college in your second year, | | | | career I want and living where I want. What these |
| unsure of what direction your life should take, two | | | | people fail to realize is that there is a connection |
| average kids that keep you from getting your share | | | | between what you are doing now and how you are |
| of sleep for several years, divorced from your first | | | | doing it to the next stage of your life.Your future is |
| spouse by age thirty-five, in debt and stuck in a | | | | created in the now moments in your life. Your future |
| career that is going nowhere, and drop dead at | | | | options are dependant on your present |
| forty-five due to a stress related illness.Not a pretty | | | | choices.Choices.How and why you choose what you |
| picture.Real life falls somewhere in the middle of | | | | do from the various options in life is a function of |
| these two scenarios. John Lennon had a great line in | | | | your: maturity, courage, insight, experience, life |
| one of his songs, "Life is what happens to you as | | | | history, value systems, plans, dreams, life outlook |
| you plan your life."How many people do you know | | | | (positive or negative, willingness to follow through, |
| that have led the perfect life? I will bet very few, | | | | confident or low confidence), goals, faith, confidence, |
| and the ones that want you to think they have most | | | | trust, life orientation (future, present or past) thought |
| likely have a few skeletons in the closet.How many | | | | patterns and comfort zones.If for example, you are |
| people do you suppose begin their life with plan B in | | | | in the job market seeking a new position, and are |
| mind? None I would suspect. Everyone wants the | | | | offered a position that requires learning a new |
| ideal life.What is the ideal life? I haven't a clue. I would | | | | industry, relocating to a part of the country you |
| guess that for everyone who supposedly has one | | | | have never been to, and taking a ten percent |
| there is some aspect of their life they would secretly | | | | reduction in compensation, but with greater potential |
| like to change.Now I have to ask you a serious | | | | for future success and happiness, vs. a position with |
| question. Did you think your life would turn out as it | | | | less potential, but requires none of the other |
| has? There are two basic ways life can turn out. | | | | changes, what would you do?It depends on your |
| Better than we thought it would and worse than we | | | | interpretation of the above seventeen |
| thought. Which did you get, better or worse?Every | | | | items.Decisions.Decision making is the ability to |
| life is about options, choices and consequences. One | | | | carefully evaluate your options, and act on what you |
| of the great essays by R W Emerson is, The law of | | | | believe is the best choice given your current |
| Compensation. If you have never read it I suggest | | | | circumstances and future plans. Procrastinating on a |
| you find it and spend some time with it. In essence | | | | decision that eventually must be made drains energy, |
| the essay says, what goes around, comes around, | | | | resolve and creates inner confusion and |
| what you sew, you will reap.You and I are reaping | | | | frustration.There is a great story in Napoleons Hill's |
| today the results of our earlier sewing. Now I can | | | | book, Think and Grow Rich, about how Andrew |
| hear some of you thinking, I didn't choose to be born | | | | Carnegie have Napoleon Hill sixty seconds to make a |
| into an alcoholic family, raised in a ghetto, or be | | | | decision on whether he would take on the project |
| abused mentally or physically. To discuss this further | | | | that led to his writing this all time best seller. He made |
| is a metaphysical concept which I will not delve into in | | | | the decision in the time allotted. But the ability to |
| this article. Let's rather focus on the decisions you | | | | make it required faith, confidence, trust, and the |
| have made from the options you had from age, oh | | | | willingness to follow through.It takes courage to |
| let's say, ten.There is one major premise that is the | | | | make a decision, not knowing the outcome in |
| core of this article, so I may as well get it out in the | | | | advance. But, isn't that what life is really all about? |
| open now. You can not always control what happens | | | | How can you know how a relationship will turn out. |
| to you or who or what comes into your life, but you | | | | How can you know whether your organization will |
| can always choose your reaction, response or | | | | downsize or be sold leaving you on the outside |
| attitude about it, him or her.We were engineered for | | | | looking in. How can you know how your children will |
| success and program for failure. The average child by | | | | turn out when you decide to start a family. How can |
| age ten has been raised and conditioned in an | | | | you know whether you will like all of your neighbors |
| environment that they couldn't choose. They heard | | | | when you move to a new location. How can you |
| no more than yes, you can't more than you can, you | | | | know whether you will like ice cream until you try it. |
| shouldn't more than you should and you'll never more | | | | You can't, life is not like that.Our job is to take the |
| than you will.Add to this the thousands of hours of | | | | curriculum we are given and do the best we can with |
| destruction and violence on TV and video games, a | | | | it. Unfortunately we don't always get to take the |
| society that has seldom been an ideal role model for | | | | course we think we will like, can handle or want.I love |
| the coming generation and peer pressure to fit in or | | | | the Nike ad, Just Do It.Attitudes.Options, choices and |
| not fit at all. Growing up is a difficult struggle at | | | | decisions all come down to attitudes. Your attitudes |
| best.We need to learn coping skills, emotional | | | | about life, adversity, problems, success, failure, |
| maturity, who we are, what we want, why we want | | | | accomplishments, people, and yes your attitudes |
| it, who we want to be with and what we need to | | | | about the decision process itself.There are only two |
| be whole, happy and at peace with ourselves and | | | | attitudes that you can have that will impact the |
| the world.The fortunate among us had a great start | | | | overall quality of your life. They are, I can do it, I will |
| in these early years, but unfortunately, that is the | | | | do it, or I can't do it, I won't do it. Examine your |
| exception. Most of us had to deal with some kind of | | | | attitudes the next time you need to make a life |
| "stuff" before we left home to follow our own | | | | decision, no matter how minor or major.I don't know |
| path.Let's talk about four issues that impact the | | | | how your life is turning out, but I do know that you |
| quality of life; options, choices, decisions and | | | | and only you are the architect of your past, present |
| attitudes.Options.Everyone has options, regardless of | | | | and future. If you want a better life, whatever |
| the situation they may find themselves in. Some | | | | better means to you, the time to fix whatever is in |
| options are obviously better than others, but there is | | | | your life that you want to change, is now; not |
| always something you can do. People are never | | | | tomorrow, not when you feel like it, not when you |
| stuck, they just choose to see themselves as | | | | have more money, not when you live where you |
| stuck.Your current options are related to your | | | | want to, or start your own business, or not when |
| previous choices. Better choices in the past gives you | | | | you are with a better life partner, the time is now, |
| more options in the future. Let me give you an | | | | and now won't wait for you while you spend time |
| example I overheard a father of a teenager sharing | | | | trying to decide.Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally |
| with a friend over lunch.The father was trying to | | | | renowned sales, relationship, management and |
| influence his son to the advantages of studying while | | | | leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. |
| he was in high school. He said, I asked my son if he | | | | Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in |
| could see how getting better grades in high school | | | | 21 countries on a variety of sales, management and |
| would give him more or better options for college | | | | relationship topics. |
| after graduation? His son agreed. He asked him if he | | | | |