Happy Relationships: Change Your Appearance

One of the challenges of even the strongestus feel younger and alive. Changing our appearance,
long-term relationship is the difficulty in keeping thingseven a few times a month, makes us look at each
fresh and new.other through new eyes and makes us focus on
We are creatures of habit, developing routines thateach other in a different way.
work for us without our having to think about it. ItWomen can more easily and radically change their
allows us to move through fast-paced lives withoutlooks because female hairstyles are so much more
having to make every little decision on a daily basis.varied than those of men. A wig (or several), in a
We don't want to stop and think about which socktotally different color, with appropriate makeup
to put on first, which way to drive to work, whatadjustments, can affect your response to each
kind of gas to put in our car, how to stack theother. A man can temporarily grow a moustache, a
dishwasher or fold our clothes.beard, or sideburns, and elicit new attention from his
Habits make life so much more simple that it frees upsurprised wife. An outrageous new piece of clothing
our energies to confront the big decisions andfor a special date can transform your interaction with
problems we have to face. However, habits alsoeach other.
distance us from what we do because our mind isMany of us love costume parties whether something
not engaged, When someone else points out thatdramatic at Halloween or an only-black-and-white
we "always" do something a certain way, we aregraphics event or a get together with friends
amazed because we are unaware. Once we'vewearing the clothes we loved in high school.
moved beyond the adolescent and young adultBe creative! If you usually dine out in business attire,
experimentation phase, we tend to fall into the rut ofget some cowboy gear and go to a western saloon
wearing our hair a certain way, how we put on ourfor some line dancing. If your usual night out is at a
makeup, the kind of television shows we watch, thebowling alley, dress to the nines and have a drink at
choice of foods we eat, and the lifestyle we pursue.the most expensive hotel in your area, rubbing
That is why the sneaky marketing men aim theirshoulders with the movers and shakers. Try a latino
message at young age groups who are the onesnightclub, hot dogs on the pier, or drinks with fruit
most likely to try something different. The size andand little umbrellas at a sushi bar. Dress in your
the purchasing power of the baby boomers may beskuzziest clothes and visit a luxury car showroom to
extraordinarily large but they are seldom targeted bylaugh at the consternation you cause. Use that tux
major advertising campaigns because they areyou rented for your niece's wedding when you visit
comfortable with the choices they have made andthe local pizza parlor and see the buzz you create.
are unlikely to really hear messages aboutThe city of Las Vegas has a wonderful ad campaign
alternatives in which they have little interest.about "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." It
Within our lasting relationships, we also fall into habits.speaks to our desire to do something totally
They range from unwavering go-to-bed-at-night anddifferent and outrageous to escape the paralyzing
get-up-in-the-morning routines to the day of thepastry of our normalcy - but with the assurance that
week we go out, the restaurants we frequent, andwe can return without ill effects, no burned bridges
the way we communicate (or fail to communicate)forcing permanent change.
with each other. We are so used to being around ourShaking up our appearance can shake up our partner
partner that, despite the affection we may feel, weand our mutual interactions. Do it for the excitement
stop seeing each other with the wonder andand do it for the fun. As another ad campaign
appreciation we felt in those first heady months.suggests, "Just do it.
Shaking up our lives by dumping old habits can make