National Redneck Party Convention

It's election year and I don't hear anybody talkingvegetable, barley for grains, sugar for the sweet
about the poor, redneck population. They don'ttooth and what protein they get usually come in the
qualify for government aid or healthcare, becauseform of a 2" square burger found at the local greasy
they work jobs, (most times), pay taxesspoon better known as the world famous
(sometimes) and are seldom heard griping aboutKrystal...that's Greasetals to you redneck wannabes.
anything except the foreigners or something that hasDid I say 5...what the heck there are 4 of the main
nothing to do with them.food groups at least! When it's not Krystals, they do
The REAL rednecks aren't worried about their livinga mite bit of fishin' or huntin' that more than makes
conditions, but the rest of us should be or they couldup for any food groups the beer won't cover, bearin'
become a dying breed. There would be a hugein mind grease is the 6th unofficial food group....but
redneck voter turnout if you served beer, hosted awho's countin? It's not a pretty picture being a
line dance and had bingo available for the old farts.redneck. His ole' lady isn't pretty, his mother isn't
Although if there is money to win at bingo you canpretty, even the dogs don't look that good. It's
bet there'll be more bingo players than line dancersenough to make a feller' wanna' drink.
any day. You know the ones - they have 3 majorAnd they live in a world that's always broke.
teeth missing, 4 dogs they got somehow, 7 fishingSomething is broke, the TV is broke, the lawnmower
poles in the back of their truck, 4 kids they pay childis broke, the microwave is broke, the freezer is
support on that don't even look like them, and werebroke, the easy chair isn't easy-it's broke and of
never married to or barely remember the kid's moms.course, when he gets his paycheck after child
Ok, I have to say it, they live in a trailer OR asupport deductions, he's broke, too.
homemade bomb shelter they built with scrap lumber.But he keeps on thinking positive, positive that
Everything they own has a hole in it - the couch, thesomething else is going to break, get a hole in it, or
carpet, the roof, the bedroom door, the living roomnot be pretty tomorrow, then if nothing goes wrong,
wall, their underwear, their socks, their eardrums,it's a good day.
their septum, their front porch, their back porch, theirThey get up, decide to go to work are happy the
shirts, their jeans and the floorboard on their pickuppickup starts, so go fishing instead. It doesn't take
truck. Talk about being in the hole.much to make a redneck happy. Rednecks are
They hardly have anything to eat, who needs itpretty low maintenance, as a breed and they don't
when beer fills most of the 5 food groups. Whathave to have a lot of material needs, unless it is their
with starch being a carbohydrate, hops being atruck or hunting and fishing gear.